The happiest person in the world
November 22nd, 2006I am probably the happiest person in the world. At least, this is how I feel each time I marvel at how happy I am. And I do not mean just now: for as long as I can remember, I have been happy, suprisingly steadily happy.
What I am grateful for
I confess it is certainly easier for me than for others, as I have also been incredibly lucky. I have not won at national lottery or been born of millionaires, but I can hardly enumerate all the small lucks I have been endowed with. I could tell you about education, family, friends, marriage, kid(s), health, jobs, everywhere I turn, there is some sort of luck factor I always feel grateful for. In the meantime, I have avoided hard luck and misfortunes altogether. On the day all fairies were taking turns to lean over my cradle, it seems that the meanest curse the uninvited wicked fairy could think of was:
“er… when you are … er … thirty … er … you’ll hit your thumb with a hammer (eh eh) … and er … you’ll … er … lose your hair ! (serves you right)”
(gate slams shut, the other fairies whispering with incredulity at the sheer cruelty of the spell).
Therefore I combine both elements happiness theories generally mention:
- Many reasons to be happy
- Few reasons to be unhappy
Still, it does not explain eveything. There are a lot of people who are unhappy or depressed even though they have allegedly all it takes to be happy (a lovely spouse, a comfortable house, a position that pays good money, the latest iPod), and indeed it seems the ingredients that we westerners generally hold as the holy graal of happiness are often quite deceitful.
In fact, what I am most grateful for is my propensity to be contented with whatever my lot is at the moment. Apparently, the little fairy who came after the wicked one shyly uttered something like: ‘Whatever happens to you, you’ll find a way to be happy about it’. I would not know about the serious stuff, but I find I can manage the small stuff a lot better than many I know. I can keep my serene contentedness through any of the everyday hitches: sitting for twelve hours in the corridor of an overcrowded Polish train, missing my connection, taking the wrong highway exit, having a flat bicycle tyre on my way to work just when there is an important meeting, you name it.
So that I finally combine the reasons to be happy, the absence of reasons to be unhappy, and a happy nature, therefore explaining why I feel the happiest person in the world.
Managing happiness with spooky thoughts
However, unless there is some kind of fate which has taken a personal fondness for me, I know there is no way my streak of luck will continue forever. The virtuous circle of luck / success / self-esteem / luck can take care of the small issues, but random hardships are blind to such details. Therefore, my goal is to cultivate contentedness (which I know I am good at) and resilience (which I still do not know anything about), so that I can come out reasonably unscathed when misfortune hits.
I once heard an interview of Neil Armstrong about how stressful the Apollo XI moon landing had been: running long, guidance computer failure, manual overtake, diversion to a safer landing site, running low on fuel, and finally landing with 15s left. Armstrong would humbly reply that he had been happy that the failure scenario was so benign compared to all the nightmarish situations he had encountered in simulator sessions (90% of which had resulted in a crash).
Likewise, I find that I am constantly expecting the worst in each situation, resigning myself to it, and rejoicing that the situation is not that bad after all. Lately, I have been imagining what I would feel if my son died (not that there is any specific reason for him to — thank goodness): after a split-second of sheer terror, I can come to terms with the thought, in a kind of ‘let it be’ way. And then I rejoice, even after a day when he’s been grumpy or obnoxious: I feel happy that life has kept the big one at bay for yet another day.
Epilogue
Plagiarising French humorist Coluche, I could finally say: “I am happy to be me: first because I am me, and foremost because I like to be happy”.
Read on
We do not really want to live long
Changing the world in half-a-minute
19.99 non-commecial things
Mellow moments
Boasting some: what I know best
Lucky you! Even though I’m not a particularly happy person, I do have this feeling that I don’t want to be anybody else, and I don’t really want my life to be different. Some of the stuff you write about resonates with me, even though I don’t think of myself as happy.
I think I am finally getting happier as I get older. It IS a perspective thing, rather than a life event thing. I never knew how to count my blessings properly, and was always waiting for the next crisis to arrive. Now, I find I’m getting far more pleasure out of really simple things - a nice meal, my son’s amusing comments, the changing seasons, visiting the blogworld. You can string a lovely day together out of a series of small pleasurable events.
I am so glad you are blessed with the happy disposition. Like a misaligned automobile, I tend to swerve toward the negative, and have to constantly adjust my course. In the fall I feel very overwhelmed and fatigued, and that combo makes it difficult to be happy and content. But I have learned to let go of a lot of things, and live with limitations. And I do believe that makes me appreciate the simple joys — and for that I am grateful.
My recipe against fall blues:
apple cider, chestnut puree, pear jam, pumpkin soup, mushroom omelettes, red wine (not all at the same time).
And then a good book by the stove.
It’s so nice to hear someone so positive. I wish I had more of that - sometimes I do and sometimes not. It’s interesting to look at my kids and their attitudes. My oldest is not often really happy - but not sad either. My youngest is almost always happy and enjoys life much more than most! I try to learn from her every day!
I try to remind myself of all that we have and that ‘things’ don’t matter and our problems are often small in comparison to what many others have to deal with. I have 2 wonderful girls, a husband who loves me, a nice home, my health, friends. It helps me when I remind myself of what I do have instead of dwelling on the things that are not quite right at the moment!
[…] The happiest person in the world 19.99 non-commecial things Mellow moments Boasting some: what I know best […]