I want…
July 3rd, 2007I can hardly remember in which blog I found this hilarious meme first. There was at least Cam, Becky, Emily, Charlotte (there, there, over there, and out there). The rule is simple: I have to use google as a mirror, mirror on the wall, to tell me what I need, using “[my name] needs”.
Now, there is a riddle: what should I use as [my name] ? Obviously, Mandarine is not my real name, but my cat’s. Not much fun in knowing what my cat needs (sleep, disgusting paté, to shed hair on my pillow, to miaow loudly all night long because, you know, it’s that bad season for she-cats). Therefore I chose to use my real first name. However, even if I am probably the only one in France with this name, it’s already been what-I-need-memed by tons of bloggers worldwide. I thus decided to change the rules to “[my name] wants”. The results are surprising, but I know why: as I have always been blogging under a pseudonym, google does not have a clue who I am and what I want. And yet, some of the stuff is not far from the truth:
I want…
to pursue a graduate degree, and have a career in organic vegetable farming: well guessed. I do want to learn more about organic gardening and farming practices and I will probably end up growing much of the family’s food.
to enable wifi on my laptop with Linux: that’s already done. The funny story is that it took me half an hour to install Ubuntu, and six hours to enabe wifi: apparently, I have the worst possible hardware configuration; one forum even dubbed my wifi card ‘the lousiest in the world’.
to party all the time: not quite. If partying means sitting in the garden with a glass of something, speaking passionately with a handful of very good friends, then yes, I want to party all the time. But if partying means partying, as in dislocating one’s limbs to deafening music in a dimly-lit crowded smoky room and having to kill one’s voice to say “I have to go to the bathroom — now”, then I’d rather stay at home and baby-sit.
to be a writer: not sure. I do like to write, but I had rather not be trying to make a living out of it — hence the blogging. It is so much easier to design spacecraft for a living…
a camel: probably not. Unless it is an aerocamel that can overtake magic carpets and that I could leave on autopilot while I commute.
[my wife’s name] so bad: not hard to guess.
to get out of my hometown. That’s already done. I was born and I grew up in Paris (aah, Payh-ree), but chose to flee the big city as soon as I had an opportunity. And then again, I left Toulouse and moved to a reasonably remote rural village. I will probably die a hermit in the Sahara desert.
a cat. Not anymore. We now have two of them. The beloved (but not very smart) Mandarine, and her fabulous-looking ’son’, whom we call Miel: snow white, with honey points on ears, nose, feet and tail.
to write songs. True. I am a huge fan of beautifully-written songs in which the words make real sentences and the prosody strictly matches the musical rhythm (and does not miserably limp along, as in most hip-hop songs). This is rare in French songs, probably because vocal stress is so subtle. I admire Brassens (or more recently Thomas Fersen or Vincent Delerm), and I have long been wondering how hard it is to write one of these songs. I sometimes hear rock bands boasting that they wrote the whole album in a cellar in two days. This explains a lot in the quality of mainstream contemporary songwriting. I am certain it takes more like two months to write a really good song. I will give it a go some day.
a different sort of funeral service: let’s leave that for (much) later, will you?
Nice twist on the meme. I want to party all the time at your kind of party as well, and an aerocamel whizzing past flying carpets is a great idea. I could use one of those for my periodic visits to the office. When do we get to see a picture of Miel?
Why, you’ve already had one.
I like your style of party. Wifi with Linux? Very cool and impressive. Sounds mostly like you are content with what you have.
Are you sure you don’t want a camel? Are you really, really sure?
I’ve often wondered: in the case of the Bactrian aerocamel, are their wings placed between the humps or directly attached to a hump?
Ian: you are right. I have become a master at contentedness with what I have.
Charlotte: find somebody else for your camel.
Tai: I should think the dromedary aerocamel has one pair of wings attached to the hump, and the bactrian aerocamel has two pairs of wings: one for each hump. This gives the bactrian aerocamel a definite resemblance to a giant stinking dragonfly.
Sounds like my kind of party too! As for Linux, well it took half and hour to get Debian (from which Ubuntu is derived) installed and I was never able to get my colour printer working. The Linux printer guide accurately refers to it as “a paperweight”. Thus until the next time I need to purchase a colour printer, I have to switch into Windows to print pictures.
That said, I love my Linux!
Doug
My mp3 player (boycott SONY) is one of those cursed windows-only peripherals and the only reason why I am still using a dual-boot configuration.
All right, so we’ve seen him once, looking extraordinarily adorable, but he must be weaned and getting ready for his first day of school by now, no? (Says the one who is terrified of digital cameras and trying to post pictures on her blog. This will have to change when Bob and I move and adopt our new “children,” a dog and a cat.)
Tomorrow.
Let me get this straight: one can plug one’s name into a google search field before the word “wants” and it will tell you what you want?
I definitely want the garden with the handful of friends. I want to be happy, too.
and–
what is a ‘meme?’
Yes, you have to write “[your name] needs” or “[your name] wants” (do not forget the quotes) and the google, google on the wall will tell you what you are dying to know about your inner self.
And- (I had to do research on this) a meme (pronouced as “beam”) is something very serious that is supposed to be the cultural version of a gene: some chunk of culture that self-replicates across generations. On the intenet, the rapidly spreading mailchains and such like are called memes. And in the very narrow niche of bloggers, a meme is any sort of writing exercise that you submit yourself to and pass on to others.
Mandarine: TYVM! Where would I be without my blogosphere guides?
I do enjoy this meme when other people do it, but haven’t taken the plunge myself. There were on two things that litlove wanted, one was ‘to get in on it’, well, yes absolutely, and the other escapes my memory. Like your answers, though!
Oh, do try it. Try it with anything, really: “[litlove] wants” or “[litlove] needs” or “[litlove] thinks”. When there are 1000 search results, you can pick the ones you prefer.