mandarine

We left in a hurry in the middle of the night, leaving boy #1 to his auntie. Boy #2 was born this morning at 5 UTC, three weeks ahead of estimated schedule. That was fortunate, because he was already a fat little pink Yoda (3.5 kg / 7.7 lbs). We are very happy of having chosen this (one-hour-drive away) smalltown hospital, as it was renowned for its high ‘natural’ birth rate (and breastfeeding-friendly practices). My beautiful wife made it without any sort of chemicals, a thing she had dreamed of, but had never imagined she was actually capable of.

All congratulations to be forwarded to Mrs Mandarine and the little pink one, room #3. Sorry I was late with the pictures…

I was tagged for this parenting meme. I am afraid I will have to translate some of the questions so that it applies more adequately to my situation. A few context items: I have one son, and he is three and a half.
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How do you carry your baby?

If you live according to western standards, chances are you use a stroller. It is funny how the stroller perfectly fits in western parenting culture and society standards:

• your baby is at a safe distance from your smell, your breath, your voice, your warmth.
• your baby is thrust into the world, boldly faces his future, and can rely on a pacifier for occasional comfort.
• your baby gets used to travelling on four wheels with minimum effort, disconnected from any walking motion
• your baby sees all adults from below, learning his place as a child
• your baby stays away from adult discussions, and patiently chews away at a gooey biscuit while you are talking with your friend/husband/neighbour
• your baby learns that the world is cold and unforgiving, especially in winter, especially in the hands and feet

And yet, the western world seems to take great pains to make life impossible for stroller-pushers:
Do you sigh and swear when you have to climb on a crowded bus and one of the castors gets caught in a handrail? when you have to go down a subway entrance? when you have to fight your way upstream a rush-hour crowd? when you have to slalom around canine excrement, upturned trash cans, badly parked vehicles or demolished sidewalks? when you want to walk along an uneven unpaved road or a hiking track? when you have to pack the stroller into the never-big-enough trunk of your car?

If you’re still living like semi-apes and are from a primitive culture, chances are you carry your baby on your belly or on your back with a mere piece of cloth. It is funny how a baby sling or a wraparaound perfectly fits a primitive parenting culture and society standards:

• your baby clings to your body and cannot dissociate from your smell, your breath, your voice, your warmth.
• your baby faces backwards, looking into your chest or above your shoulder into the past, and takes comfort from raw skin contact
• your baby gets used to the rhythm of walking and will believe walking is the best way to get around
• your baby sees all people at eye level, and will believe children are as important as adults
• your baby can eavesdrop on all your conversations, and could even be tempted to participate long before he can use proper grammar
• your baby thinks the world is a warm fuzzy place, even in winter when he is comfortably protected under your coat

And yet, the western world seems to be particularly friendly to babywearing parents: Climbing on a bus? Running down a subway entrance? Walking through a crowd? Avoiding obstacles? Hiking in the wild? Packing? Not a problem.

I’d love to be able to use a stroller and teach my baby the true modern life, but seriously: it is too much effort. I think I am too lazy and too parsimonious to choose the stroller. I prefer to stick to primitive parenting, whatever harm it might do to the balance of my child and his place into this unforgiving world.

Believe it or not, school is a very egalitarian system.
However elitist a given school may be, kids with better grades do not have fancier uniforms, they do not eat nicer food at school lunches, they do not get better chairs in classrooms or better spots in the schoolyards. This absence of objective short-term reward in return for a learning effort is probably why so few schoolkids are eager to learn more and better. This is totally rational: if there is no reward, why bother. If you do, you are stupid and are treated as such. School excellence is frowned upon by popular kids, and bland mediocrity is the golden standard if one wants to get respect from one’s teenage peers.

In addition, this egalitarian system gives kids the wrong idea about society: when they leave school, they will be totally inadapted to today’s economic system when one does not get anything for nothing. Unless one strives to be among the best, one is gradually sucked down into the economic drain. The sooner they learn this sad truth, the better armed they will be.
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Co-sleeping is bad for you and your kids. You will stop making love and they will grow more dependent. It will undermine your couple and hinder their balance as future adults. At least, [more]